Once again, the male staff will be offering remedial classes 
for all women. Attendance in at least 10 of the following 
courses is mandatory: 

1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes" 
2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
3. Elementary Map Reading -- Why Logic beats feelings
4. Crying and Law Enforcement -- (was: winning through whining) 
5. Advanced Math Seminar -- How to Program your VCR 
6. You CAN go shopping in less than 4 hours -- sponsored by Shopaholics Anonymous 
7. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: a study in contrast 
8. The Seven-Outfit Week -- It doesn't have to be new to be good. 
9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It) 
10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission (not all sticks are good) 
11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights 
12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed -- Is this possible? 
13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water 
14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--It's A Sacrament 
15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You") 
16. How to Earn Your Own Money (was: Breeding for Dollars and Y I luv welfare) 
17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good) 
18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 
19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup (was: Why Tammy Faye is a loser) 
20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry 
21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: so what's the problem? 
22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments 
23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment) 
24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels, not to mention fast forward.? 
25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why a Credit Card is Not a Toy 
26. The Penis: My Best Friend Can Be Yours 
27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out Unless You Know About Straight Flushes 
28. Commitment (was: Marriage is a three ring circus -- Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffer ring) 
29. "To Honour and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do" (was: Prenuptial Agreements -- What's Yours Is Mine and What's Mine is Mine) 
30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House 
31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimised Sensitive Man-child Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within? 

Please register immediately, as courses are in great demand (as if there were any doubt).